upon reaching a phase called in love, i come to wonder how do i love actually?
apparently, i'm not a good lover. a bad one.
apart being forgetful of things that be taken note, i dont put much effort to push away coming flirts,i have mood swings, etc.
heh.im a really bad one.
but coming to realize how much i love him, had tought myself to be better.
keep an honest heart,i must.
and i always find myself putting him first, especially when having some kind of emotional interruption or anythg dat matters. i must say its such an effort, especially for someone as self-conceited as myself. and im disappointed to say i failed at most of the times.terrible.
ok. suddenly i feel un-worthy to love.
but,i've gone this far to love someone, and to be loved back.its a miracle.
and i cant help to feel pain, a bad-ass pain in the heart to even think of not having the love i have.
i have this terrible aching when i dream about us, the pain of afraid not having the dream come true.
oh. why do love bring such pain.
maybe im not ready.oh. this is too much.
well, i guess thats the sense and pleasure of this whole thing.
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