i love you.

how easy these words flow,
as easy as raindrops fall to the ground,
so effortless.
how deep is the meaning,
as deep as the blue ocean,
so mysterious.
how fly the words are,
as the birds up in the sky,
so high.

oh dear, it is so hurtful when u dont trust me.
with the words i say, i mean it.
those words are so precious i must say.
and so it comes to mind about how less it might value when there is too much of it.
the more the less, people say.
so i kind of let my mind slip to the fact that there is no such thing as that.
nonsense.
how much i love the way you say i love you, i should have known it is to you too.

fear.
yes, when u love something too much, u'll end up with fear,a fear that can be too much to handle,
gosh, never thought that it would come to you,
now, now my love,
i wont say it if i dont mean it,
i wont mean it if its not true.
have faith, have trust,
im here, for you,
u too, always there for me.
aNd together we made it this far.
and together we love this much.
and together, we're twogether.
please, keep safe.

bahagia

oh. walking and watching you.
in person, sitting in front of me,
makes me overjoyed.
the feelings are not describable
there is something overflowing about it,
making me smile.

and when the day ends,
and i have to walk away,
it still feels like im walking on air,
still feeling like the hours spent are like dreams,
and the longing feeling to have longer hours with you,
come rushing in my heart and head,
making me wonder of the possibilities..

saya bahagia.
alhamdulillah.
please, be consistent. forever.

i am bound to think how far this will be.
this happiness. bahagia.
can it be any better?

thinking about it makes me cry.
yeah, im still in fear of loosing it.

..
one thing is clearer each day i wake up,
saya sayang kamu, muhammad saiful azhar.

first date

its my first daaate~ weee~
was sooo excited yet sooo nervous
its been such a long time.
hehe. im sorry coz my post might get quite a bit cheesy. it always were.
oh. seeing him. those long hairs makes me wanna pull them out :p,
those cute cheeks, make me wanna pinch em hard,
those hands, make me wanna hold em tight,
yet i was too damn chaotically high minded.
intoxicated by the love.
to even think of anything the first 6 hours. haha. even to talk to him i didnt dare to. gosh.
@_@ kyaa~

so and so.

i love you.

breath

im meeting my love today.
and i am truly,undoubtedly,totally nervous.
CUAK.
i feel really uneasy and annoyed with this feeling.
it makes me unable to do anything.
i can hardly breath properly.
and it makes my head dizzy @_@
meowww..

eager. fear. in love.

its weird how i feel like i wanna scream out loud that im in love and things are really,actually happening.
i finally realize that it is a human self assuring mechanism, to tell themselves that it is true, and its really,actually happening. and to keep away the fear of losing it anytime and cherishing at the meantime while it is still there.
happiness can be so fragile.it is fragile.
what happened before tells me that it is as fragile as a satin. and as pretty as satin. as soft as satin. as comfy as satin. yet fragile.
how vulnerable my emotions are, how cautious my thoughts are,
trying not to let it take over myself.
chill a bit.
calm down.
.....

an emotional state

feeling guilty, and densely ashamed of myself,
my foolishness, my ignorance, my childishness, my greed etc.etc.
rapt with your care, love and care,
i became chaotic with the urge of longing,
with the crowd of thoughts, ugly ones,
rushing into my head ruthlessly,
desperate and confused i became,
'im sorry to bother you,
yet i need you so'
always been an issue,
'i know you love me,
will you leave me."
always been my fear,
thou never did come across you,
damn.im wrecked.
wrecked, in a wrecked ship,
helplessly hoping i can swim,
gasping for air while choking in panic.

bangun tido dalam bas.

damn.

intoxicated with happiness

upon walking in the boulevard of dreams and love,
i find myself being intoxicated,
with happiness,
with love,
with you.
it feels like walking in the air,
smells of sweets and donuts, and waffle.
of love.again.
feeling overly joyed by the love i get, by the blessings i feel,
by the dreams i dream.

as the path seems clear, yet i am so troubled,
by the thoughts of ...hm. i dont know.
uncertainty, problems, lost, is this how far it will get..etc. gosh.
in short being happy is troubling in a way,
fussy i must say, crazy am i? gosh.
shooh!shush! go away ugly thoughts!

@_@ pening.

tulun..tulun...

the little things

the little things that are important,
but always remain the little things,
that remain unnoticed,
living it up till now, the little things gets bigger,
and how it matters most seems clearer.
and kept me saying,
alhamdulillah.