its been long since i feel this endless vulnerability,
pecking my heart ruthlessly,
as the heart works where mind cannot interfere,
emotions tremble, as i am
feeling afraid, taken aback by it, i cant say im strong,
and i know im too afraid to loose,
these tears cant compare to the fears i face,
just to lighten things a bit,
as if tears flow out with the fears and vanish as it vaporise,
as things build up,
things; insecurity, insecurity, fear, love.
these tears flow as it will,
knowing of not the actual reason it exist,
but only to know,
that im lost. lost. i know.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Saturday, January 7, 2012
the cat in the drain
one moonlit night,
she walks back home, after a drink with a friend, they walk home together,
and there are two girls besides the road, looking down in the drain.
there are cats in the drain, they proclaim. as she walks nearer
and finds out, there is no cats, there are kittens, three little kittens,
alone in the drain,
little creatures so fragile, vulnerable, small, furry creatures.
she squat to take a closer look,
poor little kittens, left in the drain, with their mother nowhere to see,
and says the other girl, they have been there for days, wailing and crying
but no mother would claim them,
so pity the kittens, left in the drain, all the cold night they are waiting,
trapped in drain, for their eyes cannot be opened,
for their hands are too weak,
for their claws are not yet strong,
for they know not of the wide world awaits,
yet they wail and cry, for attention, of their mother and what not.
so the girls put them in a box, where they can be kept away from harm,
in a brown little box,
now they are kittens in a brown box.
she walks back home, after a drink with a friend, they walk home together,
and there are two girls besides the road, looking down in the drain.
there are cats in the drain, they proclaim. as she walks nearer
and finds out, there is no cats, there are kittens, three little kittens,
alone in the drain,
little creatures so fragile, vulnerable, small, furry creatures.
she squat to take a closer look,
poor little kittens, left in the drain, with their mother nowhere to see,
and says the other girl, they have been there for days, wailing and crying
but no mother would claim them,
so pity the kittens, left in the drain, all the cold night they are waiting,
trapped in drain, for their eyes cannot be opened,
for their hands are too weak,
for their claws are not yet strong,
for they know not of the wide world awaits,
yet they wail and cry, for attention, of their mother and what not.
so the girls put them in a box, where they can be kept away from harm,
in a brown little box,
now they are kittens in a brown box.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
apology
times i heard people say the word maaf@sorry etc,
and never can i say yes, i forgive you.
often i think "who am i to say that?"
to accept one's apology and what more to forgive someone?
who am i to do so?
forgiveness is not in my hands,
im just a
another worthless human being who did countless mistakes.
or
im just being too stubborn to let it go?
maybe both.
just my manifestation to feel good about myself.
my, human beings are so complicated.
oh my, tragedy.
yet, if forgiveness is necessary, i should take note and remember,
Who spend [in the cause of Allah ] during ease and hardship and who restrain anger and who pardon the people - and Allah loves the doers of good; ('Ali 'Imran: 134)
and never can i say yes, i forgive you.
often i think "who am i to say that?"
to accept one's apology and what more to forgive someone?
who am i to do so?
forgiveness is not in my hands,
im just a
another worthless human being who did countless mistakes.
or
im just being too stubborn to let it go?
maybe both.
just my manifestation to feel good about myself.
my, human beings are so complicated.
oh my, tragedy.
yet, if forgiveness is necessary, i should take note and remember,
Who spend [in the cause of Allah ] during ease and hardship and who restrain anger and who pardon the people - and Allah loves the doers of good; ('Ali 'Imran: 134)
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