guilty pleasure

i want to be the best for u.

and u, be the best for me.

building a future together, and what not.

we know which path we should take.

when. just when.

when can i live without craving for you.

when can i pass a second without wanting your attention.

oh, i am so complicating things.

how can i be this selfish for love, 

continuously wishing.inappropriately being charmed.

wishing for ur words,

missing ur voice,

caring for every single little thing u do,

im acting without care of the world, feeling so high with your presence.

oh, how badly i wish you're mine, only mine,

when will you be mine?

oh, how dreadful the hours without you,

when. just when.

when can i live without craving for you.

when can i pass a second without wanting you.

when oh when, can we make our way to our future, without the guilty pleasures.

kan?

bila hati pnuh dgn kasih syg,
hati bergetar, dgn ucapan kecil,
bagaimanalah mahu lepaskan perassan ini,
tatkala kebahagian abadi bagai dapat digapai.

...

days.

days of waiting and longing,
of vain and pain,
makes a heart stiff and lost,
feeling difficult,
and utterly despised of love itself.
but love remain,
being complicated,
and stubborn as a rock,
keeps on falling in the sea of emotions,
that being hit by the waves of life.
relieved that its not lost,
yet a thought that keeps in mind,
of what is learnt and mend,
makes the heart concerned,
makes the heart keeps in rewind,
of never ending memories,
and hoping it wont end.

dreams, dreams, dreams

dreaming of you and me,
while im wide awake,
often while im layin gon my bed,
wishing for nothing but you,
dreaming of you,
here,
mine.
dreaming of you,
while im riding in the car with friends,
wishing for nothing but you,
here, beside me,
mine.
dreaming of you,
while im wide awake,
while sitting and reading,
wishing your here on my lap,
here, so near,
mine.
yes, i dream of you all the time.
guilty as i am. i am a dreamer.
dreams.
dreams,
dreams, dreaming away, to a day,
where we're together and sway.

i miss you.

tercakap

i've been confronted with an hour and a half of things, things i can hardly remember now. -_-"
synthesizing..
its been hard for both parties.
both are trying to do their best.both are trying hard not to hurt each other.not to burden each other.
its hard when things are out of control, when one thinks one has done their best,
when it is a continuous effort of learning. learning about life. and each other.
now things piling up,
making a mountain of upsetting thoughts and feelings.
gosh. find a way. to get to the heart.
to clean up the mess. such a mess.
but never rush. dont push it aside. it just means more mess being made up.
little by little. i believe there will be a solution.

Azha, jangan baca!
AzhaaIland
15th Feb 2011 5.01 pm
Hyeeeeee~ U too, have a nice day k. Luv u dear :)
16th Feb 2011 6.28pm
hihi.. U too. Jage diri tuh. Jgn Nakal2 :P
Luv u baby :D
14th April 2011 11.37pm (this is when azha had just got beck from italy)
Hye dear :D
How u r doing?
Rindu aza? :x
14th April 2011 11.38
I'll count till 5. If u didnt reply my msg within 5 seconds, dat means u hv 2 skype with me 2nyte.
14th April 2011 11.38pm
Yeay, u r late. So, skype k mlm ni :D
Just kidding...
Juat wanna cheer u up. I guess u r quite upset with me :x
16th April 2011 7.03pm
Cheett. naughty gurl :D
I luv u very much dear.
So, take care k :x
28th April 2011 9.34 pm
Oh, of coz i miss u dear
Yeah, i miss my scary dear.
Ahahahah... Men2 jep, jgn mrah :x
Ela, ela katne? Td aza nmpak ela nyer skype on. Td la, skang da x on da.
3rd May 2011 2.44am
Ela, I LOVE YOU. i really am.
P/s: im not angry or anythin, just speechless.Sorie.
4th May 2011 3.30 am
Mlm ku rasakn sepi, jiwaku dilanda rindu, trbayg wajahmu,
rasa cinta berglora:)
-lirik lg, but i mean it.
5th May 2011 5.45 am
Hye my dear :)
I miss u lots. Miss me? Still half of mine? I luv u. Wish
u r with me now :x
10th May 2011 2.17 am
To: my luvly sis
Thanx kak. Adik syg akak. Syg sesgt :D
Luv u very much
:x
From: adik :p
12th May 2011 4.11 pm
Hye dear.... How u r doing?
Msti sronok an wat keje bakti :p
I miss u :x b careful k :D
Luv ya
21st May 2011 4.16pm
Hyeeee Sweetie :D
How r u? Wish u r epy n missing me always :x
love u n missg u.
23rd May 2011 2.53 pm
Luv lots jugak n rindu pon lots jugak :x
Tke care k dear :D
28th May 2011 3.48pm
:DDD (trlalu epy smpi x leh nk tutup mulut) hehe....
Ok, take cre dear. I luv u too. Luv u vry much actualy.
Aza saaaaaayang ela.Muah3.
Gosh, i miss u so much :x (on ur lips...ehehe)
03rd June 2011 4.09 am
Sy saaaaaangat sayang kamu :x
Oh, hati sy dpenuhi rase syg kpd kamu :)
06th June 2011 2.16 am
:DDD
I luv u vru much :x
So much dat i can go crazy if i keep thinkin abot it (ni bkn sentap k :p)
Ok, nyte dear.
Mimpi abg k
(hohoho)
...
malaysia.
:D
16th July 2011 2.38am
Aza agt suke ela ckp camtu, sgt sweet. Trharu.....
Ela.....aza pon rindu kat ela.....berharap ela de kat sblah aza, so i can look at u n hug u all da time.
Aza sgt2 suke tgk ela.
16th July 9.59pm
Rindu.rindu.rindu.rindu.
rindu.rindu.rindu.rindu.
rindu.rindu.rindu.rindu.
rindu.rindu.rindu.rindu.
rindu.rindu.rindu.rindu.
AMIRAH ADILAH, SAYA RINDU KAMU JUGE :D
Cinta.cinta.cinta.cinta.
cinta.cinta.cinta.cinta.
cinta.cinta.cinta.cinta.
cinta.cinta.cinta.cinta.
AMIRAH ADILAH, SAYA CINTA KAMU :D
17th July 2011 11.14am
Maaf, aza overeactd mlm td :(
ni nk g mur ngan mak,nk beli penapis air
23rd July 2011 11.19 pm
Hye dear... nga watpe? Sy sunguh rindu kamu
24th July 2011 08.59 pm
Ehehe..
Sy....sy.....rindu kamu juge. Rindu dgn byk skali

...
..
.
.
..
.
all the words u type, means a lot.
so, xsmpai hati nk delete trus without a trace,
therefore, here i keep it, more in my book.
keep them all, forever in my heart.