paint

let's paint our picture
got my hands messy with colours
i choose red for it is the blood,
i choose blue for it is the sky,
i choose green for it is the buds,
i choose brown for it is the ground,
i choose gold for it is the sun,
i choose turquoise for it is the sea,
i choose fuschia for it is the flower,

(the blood that runs, so vital, so beautiful, so red,
the sky so high, so far, so harmonious, so blue,
the buds so young, striving, so green,
the ground so stable, so solid,
the sun so bright, so bedazzling, so blinding, so gold,
the sea so deep, so vast, so enchanting,
the flower so pretty, so soft, so fuschia)

so i am here, with the canvas so white,
for i dont know what should be of us,
what will be of us,
but i do wish of all.

alhamdulillah.

indah?

aren't we stepping to a new stage?

is it too steep for us?

stepping cautiously, i am completely fearful,

stepping so slowly, the changes appear vague,

and sometimes i question, is it uncertainty that im in?

no, i believe its just solely my fears, 

and ignorance, and my stupid self-defence,

of whats ahead, of what i might do,

afraid of loosing myself, afraid of loosing you,

afraid of whatever is scary.

now, now, be calm,

and look of the wonderful future, of hope,

some of certain hope,

look at the wonderful emtions,

of care, and share, of love,

have faith,

and everything will be fine.

now.

whats happening?

.......................................

the utter clueless-ness im in,

the concrete fear im in,

the exact nightmare im in,

the pure silence,

save me.

do i still have the right to ask for such a thing?

please, (does this buy the ticket?)

please save us.